| (no subject) |
[Sep. 27th, 2005|09:24 pm] |
I'd just like to say
We've been through alot
About three thousand tacos
Three hundred trips to the mall
A million jokes about Mrs. Cotter
And to top it all of
I left a blueberry donut in your van for God knows how long
I guess what I'm trying to say is
Thanks for everything Sam
Thanks for everything but the bunt cake
You know how i loathe bunt cake |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2005|10:16 pm] |
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if there was a fire, and i was stuck inside, ewould you risk your life to save me? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2005|10:15 pm] |
my eyes are heavy
and i wish you were here
but who are you?
i don't know you anymore
love isn't what it was cracked up to be
and now i wish for only one thing
my death and your demise |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2005|12:27 pm] |
matt is reading the synopsis
well actually the introduction
the poor soul is somewhat gay and doesn't realize it
may god have mercy on his soul |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 1st, 2005|12:21 pm] |
it's been so cold
and i've been so lonely
i feel so old
moldy and dead
decaying and unwanted
oe of those things that is
"just there"
unwanted
but who of the dead are? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:57 am] |
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where is this poetry coming from then? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:57 am] |
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i don't love anybody but my best friend |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:57 am] |
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man my poetry is getting more random every day |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:54 am] |
one, one
the tale has begun
two, two,
i fall for you
three, three
hope you love me
four, four
want nothing more
five, five
it makes me feel alive
six, six
please no more tricks
seven, seven,
so close to heaven
eight, eight
let me hold youm please wait,
nine, nine'
everything is fine
ten, ten
lets do this again |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:52 am] |
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one + one = a couple |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:51 am] |
i love her
i can't help it
i love her
through and through
a girl i barely knew
that i can only hope to come
to know, so that i can maybe
know if she is the one |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:50 am] |
and so it is
and so it will remain
life is misery
life is pain |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:50 am] |
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I'm going to buy a book by Herodutus ohhh yeah!!!! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:49 am] |
somewhere in between the grass in my hair
and the two stars in the sky
i fell in love with you |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 27th, 2005|10:49 am] |
maybe i should look at myself
and see the truth
that i assume to quickly
everyone hates me
everyone is out to ruin me
but i am already ruined
i am already stained
you can't break the broken
...you can't break the broken |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2005|06:22 pm] |
There is no heaven
There is no hell
I loved only you
And that loved died,
So oh well
Why did you tell me
The things I wanted to hear
If you knew you'd be done
Before the birth of the next year
You gave me bliss
You gave me love
You promised and promised
But promises never last long enough
My muscles are tight
My heart can't beat
You are what made me live
I'm the living deceased
A man in a dream
Maybe it was mine
Told me you were an angel
That things would be fine
Fine isn't this
Fine doesn't equal pain
And every time I try to forget you
I hurt myself again
I should have stayed home
Should have stayed alone
I gave up my world for you
And I have nothing to show
Well maybe I do have something
Scars and memories that kill
I wish you were like a disorder
So I can make you go away with a pill
But somehow you are more of a cancer
Something that has grown on me
You were my perfect love
And now you're my deadly disease
So goes the story
So goes my life
I whisper these words
While gently moving the knife
The knife is cold
Cold as my heart
The knife is escape
It's a way to part
The knife is pointless
I will not kill myself
I'd rather live on Earth
It's the same as hell
I must have done something
I must have angered the gods
It was never meant to be like this
I feel my heart start and stop
A moment in a memory
When we were both happy
A moment in a memory
Where you said you needed me
Now all I need
Now all I want
Is to wash away
I'm so gaunt
The time in this world
Has become overrated
If I can not be loved
Why not be hated?
Get away from me
Even those who want to help
I don't want any thing but her
But she's too good for me
And too good for herself
My back aches
My heart aches
This is my pain
This is my mistake
I wonder if I saw her body
Covered in her own blood
Would I began to feel better
Would these bad feelings be overcome
Overcome with something
Something stronger than pain
Would I feel bitter happiness?
When I thought happiness to be slain
I can not tell anyone
What will become of me
Or why I feel the things I feel
And think the things I think
I can tell you only what I know
And what I know is I truly loved her
We were bonded so strongly for a day
My heart and soul were completely pure
(My love is gone again, I think I give up forever this time) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 26th, 2005|08:45 am] |
so yeah, i haven't left a post in a few days, and this one will probably suck, but here it goes
still water
but moving memories
things you can touch
but things you cant see
i feel like i'm drugged
but ive never done a drug in my life
i feel like i'm so wrong
yet it all feels so right
i feel like sleeping
but my pillow is hard
i want to tell you everything
but you'll dtare at my scars
i want to sink down
because sinking is all that's left
i'm scared to go to sleep and dream
because reality= theft |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:21 am] |
(Reminiscing) I remember the last four lines so well...
Where is my love?
Where is my love?
And if you are someone different
Where is my gun?
I still have that poem, but somehow the file became corrupt
(tear) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:18 am] |
The blood in my viens is
Drying and dying
But I am not crying
I am ready to embrace the end
I am ready to close my eyes on earth
And open them again wherever they will be next |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:17 am] |
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Will you let me rest my head upon your shoulder? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:16 am] |
The most valuable lesson you can learn is no lesson at all
-Me (or at least i think its me, it came out of my head) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:15 am] |
Bubblegum
Residue is
On my shoe
Keeping its hold on me
Enveloping the sole
Never letting go |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:14 am] |
Bleeding and
Realizing in
One minute that
Killing myself was an
Empty act and i have to follow through
No turning back |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:13 am] |
Beaten and
Raped and
Overcome by denial
Killing me just the same
Ending me just the same
Nothing matters anymore |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 22nd, 2005|08:12 am] |
There are moments when I look up to the sky
And there is nothing looking back at me
The sky isn't actually there
It is all an illusion
A lie I tell myself
To make believe that I am still alive
That life hasn't ended for me |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|11:29 pm] |
To end this
I must end myself
Deprive my lungs of oxygen
Place my remains on a shelf
Let myself be forgotten
Let myself collect dust
This isn't what I wanted
But this is what I must
And would it have ended differently
If the stars had stayed bright,
And if the mountains had stayed still
And if the ocean had never chilled
Why do I stop to wonder
Is it because the end is nearing
And why is my mind preying on itself
The end is what it should be fearing
Can't hide from what is
Can't stop what will be
But I wish I could gaze upon you
(one last time)
Before I die,
You are what I want to see |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|11:19 pm] |
Is it so wrong
To want to give up
To dry all the rivers
To turn away and run
Run so far so fast
No one will see me pass
And then I can become hollow and empty
Like an unused glass
Drink from me no more
Make me out to be no whore
I've played the game, but now the game ends
Send my love to my enemies
And my hate to my friends
Tell them that I leave them one thing
And that is simply these words
Explain to them that I am running
Running away from this world
Hopefully I won't have to be
Running for long
Hopefully my lungs will fail
And the colors my eyes see
Will become black
And this world will be gone |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 21st, 2005|11:07 pm] |
Why does every girl have to be taken?
Why must every thorn make me bleed?
Why if I can never have what I want
Did God come to create need?
Why if the wind whispers
Only to torture me with truth
Well why the hell do I get up?
When I have nothing to construe
I'm choking on loneliness
I'm drowning in my tears
I don't have anyone in the world
To kiss away my fears
And it's foolish to think
That someday someone will come
So I bid this page, and this world adieu
As the bullet leaves my gun |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|06:13 pm] |
I wish i could kill every motherfucker with a gun
And I wiush I could make every sunrise last an eternity
I wish I could make forever, forever
I wish I would never have to let go, or say goodbye
I wish for the this that seem impossible
The things that are tainted by the past
I wish for the things that once were, but couldn't last
I wish that maybe
Underneath all this ugliness
I might fing myself |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 20th, 2005|05:18 pm] |
Best friends hurt us
And best friends desert us
And best friends aren't really friends at all
They are parasites that use you
And abuse you
For what you are worth
And when you lose your worth
They will leave you
They will still feed off you
But only when they need you
Only when they have nothing else
You as a 'best friend'
Is a liars failsafe
Something that is only there to be 'there'
A best friend holds no importance
A best friend is meaningless
A best friend is like the barrel of the gun
The hopes that it won't fire
Are the same hopes that the fake life you had together
Won't ever disappear
Because some days
Even when we know it
We need to be fake
We need to fake sick some days too
That way we can be loved
Be loved and get the attention that isn't paid to us enough
I'd hate to admit that you are my parasite
And yet for some reason
I still want you
I still need you
For pulling you off would be worse
It would be losing you
And you made it so that you were all I had
You are all I have
This game is unfair
The rules lean one way
Against me,
Against me,
Why is everything
And everyone against me
It doesn't make sense
But just this once
I'll say it doesn't have to
It's okay that it is nothing
But a conspiracy
Somebody
Somewhere
Getting back with this evil fuck
What goes around comes around
But I don't ever remember doing anything this bad
It seems impossible
And it feels unbearable
But there is no escaping it
There is no nothing
Nor does there need to be
It's okay to have holes
It's okay not to fill in the gaps
I kind of like this new look
Makes me, me
And all I can hope
Is that this scarred thing that I am
Is still attractive to some
I need to be pretty
We all need to be pretty
Pretty, pretty, pretty
All I am is pretty fucking disgusting
A nothing
A breathing, seeing, nothing
And even these harsh facts don't seem to matter anymore
The only thing that matters is ending this
Killing me and thinking you are dying with me
Parasitic best friend |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|11:29 pm] |
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kiss the world goodye |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|01:17 am] |
I'm holding your hand
And I want to tell you
That I love you
And that in my mind
In my heart
I think you should kiss me
For the first and last time
Because a single kiss causes no pain
It brings no grief or heartache
It just lets us get a taste of each other
To better know who we are
And what we are to each other |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|01:14 am] |
Man the blood
Always the blood
And the failure to see
The failure to know
That this is life
Some twisted reality |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|01:10 am] |
lay roses upon my grave when i die
let me know that you still love me
and let it be strong like the red of a rose |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 19th, 2005|01:07 am] |
i think maybe
after all this time
it is going to be all right
i'll make it through the night
and see you tomorrow |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 18th, 2005|07:01 pm] |
for a kiss to be sweet
you need the girl to be cruel
for a world to make sense
you need the world to confuse you
for the light to shine through
you must first grow dark
for the legend to come true
you must believe in what you see
for the ending to come about
you must be ready to begin |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|10:27 pm] |
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i guess today just wasn't a very poetic day |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|07:58 pm] |
i will do what i should do
love those i have hated
and love those who are unloved
i will work my way back
to the life that i should live |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|05:18 pm] |
maybe i will see you again
maybe i won't |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|05:17 pm] |
good and bad
both reflect what we had |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|05:16 pm] |
Like an
Obstacle made
Very diffucult and
Entirely unfair
Like a
Overriped
Violet that
Embers burn
Like a long ago
Origin that was
Vast but now
Exists only in the past |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|05:14 pm] |
this is where i'm supposed to move on
but this is where i learn that i can't let go
i need regret, and i need this pain |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|05:11 pm] |
give me your hand
i need a hand to hold
give me your heart
i need to remembe what a heartbeat feels like
give me you
because i can't remember me
give me anything
that can make me something
i can't be this blank
this nothing
anymore |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 17th, 2005|12:03 am] |
so i will say simply
what is in my heart
i love you
until the day i die
i hate you
and i dont know why
i just want you
want you back
want it perfect again
so if you cant give me a reason why not
give me no reason at all
and push it all aside
...hold me one last time |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|10:31 pm] |
when push comes to shove
i'lll end up pulling out a gun or knife
then the problem is solved
and you go bye bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|10:18 pm] |
one,
two,
three,
death and lies
cover me
four,
five,
six,
unforgiven even by the man on the crucifix
seven,
eight,
nine,
satan whispers that everything will still be fine |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|10:15 pm] |
sell me suicide
and sell it to me cheap
i don't want any expensive
when it comes to this sinful deed
put me to bed
but give me no kiss goodnight
will you look down at me in hell?
will that be your final goodbye? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|10:11 pm] |
some dreams
some lies
help and disguise
what i would rather not see
what i'd rather nor be
i wish you could understand
you were everything to me |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|10:11 pm] |
i can't take these burdens
growing day by day
i pray and pray
but they don't go away |
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